Looking for my front row seat

I walked into the small auditorium and to the front of the class. I chose my seat carefully. I used the same approach that I used in college years ago. I sat a two rows back, in the middle — not too close, not too far away. A few others seemed to have the same thing in mind, the rest sat in the back. Of course, everyone strategically left the first row empty.

A minute or two later, a coworker of mine, whom I’m good friends, walked into the classroom, waved, and sat down next to me. We were excited to catch up on the latest gossip. We didn’t have much time though. The corporate exec leading the class walked in a few minutes later and everyone got quiet.

He looked around the class and broke out into a quiet laugh when he saw the long empty row. “Okay, I see how it is, no one wants to sit too close to the professor.” The classroom joined in on his laugh, but the comment held a bit of truth. No one wanted to be in the front in the hot seat.

Researchers list social anxiety; the fear of being judged; the desire for anonymity; and the perception of control as some of the reasons why we tend to skip sitting in the front row. We should probably rethink this behavior though. Studies dating back to the 1970’s have found that students sitting in the front of the classroom tend to perform better than those sitting in the back.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my own habits. I sit close to the front in meetings, but I should probably sit closer. It got me thinking too about friendships. I tend to make friends slow. I’m generally on the quieter side so it takes time for me to let my guard down and to ease into a friendship. I would never want to go back to being in school again, but I miss seeing classmates and friends on a regular basis. I miss the camaraderie and routine.

I write more about friendships in my post today, The search for Bosom Buddies, on the Heart of the Matter. In particular, I touch on how close friendships make a world of difference.

We all need a friend some times, no matter where we sit in the classroom.