Talking to myself

I can only hear bits and pieces, but I hear my wife’s voice trailing in the kitchen. I’m in my office on the second floor. I hear a word or two, but then her voice gets garbled and is out of hearing range. I’m wracking my brain: “Who in the heck is she talking to?” Our son left early in the morning for his summer job and will not be home until later in the evening, so it can’t be him. I see her phone charging on a nearby coffee table, so she can’t be talking on the phone. We’re not expecting any visitors. Who could it be?

Finally, I hear her again.

“Oh Nitty girl, I’m just going to the store, I promise, I’ll be quick. Don’t be sad, we’ll spend the rest of the day lying on the couch, just you and me.”

I hear the jingle of her car keys and then she yells up the stairs to me to inform me that she’s running a quick errand. So who was my wife talking to the whole time? What has four legs, a scruffy little face, and can be as temperamental as the weather? Of course, she was to talking to Nittany, our 15-year-old, 20-pound Lhasa Apsa – Bichon Frise dog.

Talking to ourselves

Oh, the practical jokester in me wants to make fun of my wife. I don’t want to let a moment like this pass. I don’t get a lot of tailor-made opportunities like this, I want to poke fun of her and tell her that she talks more lovingly to the dog than she does me, but I don’t have a leg to stand on. Or a paw. Or dog bone or anything else for that matter. I talk to Nittany all the time. And oh, we have some great conversations.

I tell Nittany to be patient, to give me five more minutes working on my blog or my novel, and then I’ll take her outside to do her business and a walk around the house. I tell her that she’s a good girl, my favorite doggy, and that I love her. When I’m frustrated with work, I tell Nittany how smart she is and how I like her better than some humans. Oh, outside of my wife and my coworkers, I probably talk more to Nittany each day than anyone else I know.

You may find this one hard to believe, but Nittany, in fact, is a great listener. Oh, yes, she’s a dog, but she looks back at me like she understands. She nods her head. Sometimes she looks up lazily or even a bit bored, but that’s okay, I get it, not every conversation is going to be a page-turner. For anyone who’s ready to send the people with the white straitjackets after me — no, Nittany has never talked back to me, but she has given a bark of approval once or twice.

Bark once for yes, twice for no!

I’m especially prone to chat up Nittany in the middle of the day when I’m working and no one else is home. I’ll read her something that I’ve written or a project that I’m working on and her response tells me if the writing is any good. A barely noticeable look means that the writing is in good shape. If she gets up and moves to another spot on the couch, that means the work has serious problems and needs a rewrite.

She’s actually a pretty good editor.

Nittany has that magic touch that all great editors have — she makes sure my writing is logical and orderly, checks my grammar for silly errors, but yet doesn’t cut too much or take away from the tone or content of the writing. She knows when to say “when.”

In good company

Laugh all you want, but I’m apparently not the only one who talks to their pets. Several studies over the years from pet food companies to consumer goods firms have reported that two-thirds of American households have at least one pet and a large percentage of these owners regularly converse with their pets like they were people.

The conversations supposedly are good for the pet owner and the dog. Researchers found that dogs respond to the emotional tone of our voices and, if you look into your dog’s eyes while talking to them, you’ll both experience a surge of calming oxytocin, the hormone in our body that’s often associated with love, trust, and relationship building.

Of course, my first action after reading that was to get up from my chair, walk over to Nittany lying on her bed, give her a little rub, and to tell her the Good News.

“See Nitty, we’re not crazy! We’re just trendsetters!”

Ruf, ruf.