Lending an ear

We think we’re good listeners. But, are we really?

Numerous surveys over the years have shown that respondents think they’re good listeners. One survey published in Psychology Today reported that 96 percent of respondents said they were always or sometimes good listeners. However, a study two years ago by two Carnegie Mellon professors showed that we retain less than half of what people say to us.

I write about the power of good listening in my post, Here I come to save the day, on the Heart of the Matter. In particular, I write about how I learned that listening took more than having big ears or looking for a great opportunity to chime in with my own ideas.

(How’s this for a teaser: I manage to include several mentions in the piece of cartoon hero, Mighty Mouse! Now you have to read my story.)

In thinking about that post, I thought about and researched good listening skills. Some of these ideas were new, most I knew beforehand, but they’re all hard to follow:

• Don’t make assumptions and don’t interrupt.
• Be curious about the conversation.
• Ask questions and show that you’re listening.
• Face the other speaker and remove distractions (ie. put the damn phone down.)
• Put your ego aside and stay focused.
• Allow silence and defer judgement.
• Clarify and summarize key points.

Oh, yea, I still need the occasional reminder, but I try to remember the lessons I’ve learned long ago.

Now what did I just say? Were you listening?

Related Story:

Here I come to save the day

on The Heart of the Matter