When breakfast helps with the grief

We all face death and grief in our own way and time. For some people, that time is measured in weeks or months, for others it’s in years. Some shut down or throw themselves into their work, some grieve with tears, others spend time talking with caring friends or going for long walks.

And then there’s Peggy Winckowski, a 66-year-old grandmother from St. Louis, who I read about this week. She makes breakfast.

But, first some background:

When her grandson Sam Crowe and friends were having breakfast at a local diner two years ago when their school started late one morning, Sam told old his friends that his grandmother made a better breakfast than the restaurant. After checking with his grandmother, the Wednesday Breakfast Club was created and a small group of high school students started showing up at Winckowski’s house every Wednesday for the rest of the school year.

Image by Alex Green by Pexels.

When Sam was killed in an accident in July 2022 when the moped he was riding was struck by another vehicle, breakfast was the last thing on anyone’s mind. In the weeks following Sam’s funeral, Winckowski’s home, however, remained a welcoming place for Sam’s friends to gather.

When the school year started back up in the fall, the students asked “‘Grandma Peggy, are we still going to have breakfast club?’ And I told them, ‘I will feed you if you come,’” she told the Washington Post.

“I have to keep moving because I have many more grandkids to take care of,” said Winckowski, referring to the teens who attend her weekly breakfasts. “We’ll never get over Sam’s passing, but we can get through it together.”

Image by Liza Summer by Pexels.

The tradition started with a few teenage boys and has expanded to include about 30 regular attendees. Sometimes, Sam’s parents show up, as well as other members of the community.

As a society we tend to put athletes, celebrities, and the famous on a soapbox. We adore them and celebrate them for trivial reasons. Sometimes, though, I’m reminded by the smallest of things, in this case, a grandmother from St. Louis, that life is so much more than a bit of fame.

Life is about helping friends and family and people you’ve never even met before and, in turn, you’re helped in the process too. When I’m faced with major life disappointments, I tend to withdrawal into myself, like a turtle falling back into it’s shell, trying to protect itself, but here’s hoping I learn from Peggy Winckowski and become more like her.

Yes, I suspect we all could learn a thing or two from her.