Choosing Hope #3: Be the change

When I was a young manager, my team and I were going through a tough time. I was new in my role, we faced a number of tough obstacles, and didn’t have a lot of time to plan and get acquainted. We needed to get to know each other on the fly.

I remember feeling like we were trapeze artists flying without a net.

After a particularly challenging week, I brought the team together to celebrate a big win that we had accomplished and thank everyone for their contributions. One of my teams members had a tough time of it and complained about our situation. I let him vent. He needed to get it off his chest, but he was having a tough time moving on. Other members brought up some key wins, but he wasn’t hearing any of it. He was focused on the negatives.

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Challenges to be overcome

I think about those team members from long ago when I hear folks talk nowadays about the future. The negatives are definitely there for all to see.

—They point to the high costs.

—They point to the fragmented and angry political agendas.

—They point to the violence in our streets and around the globe.

—They point to the debates over guns and abortion.

—The talk of a divided world.

Image by Artem Podrez via Pexels.

Seeing the glass half-full

I couldn’t disagree with my team member then and I can’t disagree now with the Debbie-Downers who see nothing but challenges around the next corner. They are both right, challenges exist, but we’re also blessed because we have incredible opportunities.

I told my team member long ago that he was right, all the things he mentioned were negatives. In fairness to him, he had a right to vent and and get the problems off his chest in a safe place, but I reminded him that we were fortunate that we could work together as a team to make changes to our processes and improve our situation. We didn’t have to live with the problems.

And in time we were able to fix our situation. My team and I became very close and it ended up being one of my favorite work experiences in my career.

Likewise, we’re living in a time unlike any other. We have opportunities that didn’t exist before. We’re living in a unique time in our world’s history. There’s no time like the present. I write more about the challenges I faced in that role in my story, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up! on The Heart of the Matter.

Let me know what you think.

“Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change.” —Jim Rohn

“Change is not something that we should fear. Rather, it is something that we should welcome. For without change, nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom and no one in this world would ever move forward to become the person they’re meant to be.” —B.K.S Iyengar

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new” —Socrates

Related Story:

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

on The Heart of The Matter

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32 thoughts on “Choosing Hope #3: Be the change”

  1. You sound like a great manager, Brian – and used the right skills of listening and team building to help your then-young team to overcome that hurdle.

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  2. So good, Brian. I remember a dear friend, dealing with workplace negativity wisely say, “You need to see the hurdles to clear them” and it was such a great way of acknowledging negative feedback while also reminding the grumpy ones that moving forward — past the hurdles to a destination/finish line was the goal…not moaning about how high the hurdles were. It’s an image that’s stuck with me for a long time. 😊

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  3. So many people reference the glass half full / half empty analogy, but the realist sees that there’s a limited amount of water that they can drink, use to water the plants, pour down the drain, or splash in their enemy’s face. The glass of water is a tool, and–you’re right, Brian–we live in a time of incredible opportunity. No matter what types of challenges or disadvantages someone may face, we have a wealth of knowledge and connections available at our fingertips. Each and every one of us has the opportunity to leave our mark on the world. Love all the positivity this morning, Brian!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re right about the realistic approach – half full but limited options. I like your approach better, it aligns better with how I view life. You have a choice. You can be negative and miserable or find a way to make things work. I’m not a pollyanna, isn’t life grand kind of person. I tend to the see the risks and challenges right away but work my way to a positive stance. I started this series because I hate how folks oftentimes look down on younger generations or look back to earlier times with rose colored glasses and are negative just to be negative. Yes, life is hard and as you know from your health challenges, it can knock you on your bottom, but there’s good things too, sometimes you just have to look really hard for them. Thanks for reading, appreciate your perspective!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am right there with you, Brian! I used to be a bit of a Pollyanna, but illness knocked some sense into me haha! There’s something particularly rewarding about examining a dire situation and discovering the glints of goodness. I really like the saying, “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst”–understand and have a plan to mitigate risks, but don’t let them stop you from living well. 😊

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    1. I hear you John, lots of crazy things . . . but I still think there’s lots to be “realistically hopeful and excited” about too. I was in grumpy mood yesterday about some news I got and I got a call from a former coworker, out of the blue, that helped turn my day around. I still think there’s lots of good. When people mention the end of times, I always think of this devout, old grandmother type that I used to see in my job. I asked her one time what she thought about such things, and she said that if you live your life with love, care, and respect for others, then knowing or not-knowing the end date, “wouldn’t amount to a hill of beans. I have nothing to do with it happening.” Ha, ha, ha, I’ve always kind of liked her response. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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      1. There are many good things these days too, and I’ve met lots of very nice people in Las Vegas too. I don’t want to seem negative, Brian, it’s simply being realistic if you are a Believer.

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  5. You were right to let the employee vent, and also correct to let him know your team could move on and learn from mistakes. One of my husband’s bosses used to say “It’s easy to point out what’s wrong, I like people who can come up with solutions.”

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    1. Yea, he needed to get it off his chest, but I was still careful. We eventually needed to move onto exactly that . . . solutions and how to make it better. And yes, I’ve always thought I was thriving in my job when I was coming to my boss proactively with challenges that he wasn’t even aware of . . . but with solutions on how to make solve the problem and make us better. I’ve always viewed it as proactive creativity.

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  6. I love this incredible story you narrate. The way you listened and provided that safe space – you are a good manager, Brian. But the sentence – we don’t have to live with the problems. Yes!! It applies to so much. Yes, they exist and yes we can keep working together (hopefully) to make them better one step at a time. Love this!!

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    1. You know how it is in a corporate environment . . . half of the team member’s problem was being able to vent. As long as he was respectful to the rest of the team and me, I didn’t have a problem with it. He was touching on good spots for us to look for solutions. The thing that was important for me was to listen and then look for the transition of how we could move on and fix it for the future. I don’t think I did anything extraordinary . . . just mgmt 101. 🙂 🙂

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      1. I love how you both leverage it as way to find places to improve for the team and downplay your deft handling of it. It might be mgmt 101 but a lot of people skip that course… 🙂

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  7. This is inspiring Brian and I agree with the quote there by Jim that things get better by change and yeah that’s true. For things to manifest needs change to happen on the onset. Being a Manager is a hard pill to swallow given the array of obstacles you face but with the right attitude and team you can kick those challenges out of your way

    Really great story 💯👍

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  8. I couldn’t agree more with your hope for hope, but let me share how I was personally “Debbie Downed” this week.
    The Human Rights Campaign which is our nation’s largest queer civil rights organization officially declared a state of emergency for LGBTQ+ people in this country, for the first time in the 40-year history of the organization primarily the result of more than 75 Anti-LGBTQ+ bills becoming laws this year alone more than doubling the number of such laws last year, the worst year previously on record.
    When you think of the queer community coming under vicious attack, please remember me, Pretty and our family and close friends. Remember our granddaughters who will hear their grandmothers are criminals.
    I have spent a lifetime not only wishing for hope but also working to effect change in the hearts and mind of my fellow citizens.
    When you and your followers hear people make the jokes, talking about the fags, please speak up for me and my family. That is my hope. When you have an opportunity to celebrate June as Pride month with your LGBTQ+ friends and family, please do. That is my hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I saw your note this morning Sheila and I wasn’t sure how to respond. It’s just so sad. Unfortunately, a few hours later, I still don’t have any great words of comfort.

      The attacks are hateful and wrong. When I see some of these bills, I always think to myself, how do you legislate love? Affection? “Oh you can be with this person, but it’s wrong to be with that one.” Says who? The Bible?

      I like to think that I’m faithful Christian believer, but even I recognize how we’ve evolved as a people. the Bible says that you can stone your neighbor for working on the sabbath. Of course, we’ve evolved. We don’t follow that anymore. Yes, yes, you have my support, actions and thoughts and the support of millions of others overcoming these crazy times. You know better than me that it’s a challenging time, but my hope is things will get better. I applaud you for telling your story and speaking up.

      Thanks for contributing to the conversation. And yes, it may be sad overall, but I’m hopeful that good things are happening closer to home for you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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