My dog judges me

I’m failing miserably. 

Here’s what I mean. My dog is judging my wife and me. 

I eat salad and I get the look. It’s a deep probing look that says “Yo, birdbrain, you coulda had a hamburger and instead you’re eating a bunch of green stuff that grows from the ground. I pee all the time on the grass. Are you sure nothing didn’t pee on that lettuce?” 

She goes on: “C’mon on dude, let’s raise your eating game a little here. I’m dying for some decent leftovers.”

Yes, we all joke about our pets living like kings and queens of our homes, but I swear Nittany, our 13-year-old Lhasa Apsa – Bichon Frise, really does live on Easy Street and spends her free time poking fun of us “little people.”

It gets worse. She’s been judging my evening entertainment too. I sit and watch television or work on my laptop, catching up on a little work, and she stares at me. She even gives me a hard time for reading a good book. She’ll paw and paw at our front door letting us know that she needs to go outside and do her business.

Once she’s done, Nittany sits by the stairs glaring at us telepathically trying to convince me that I should go to bed. When I ask if she’s ready for bed, her look says, “Umm, you know that you can read in bed, right? And that horrible show, I can tell you right now how it’s going to end, what poor writing! You can do better Brian.”

And then in the morning, I wake up and start to get out of bed. Before I can take another step, she lets out a sigh, full of frustration and despair. “Why are you bothering me now Brian?”

Yes, I’m a failure in my dog’s eyes. 

Image by Alotrobo via Pexels.