My dog judges me

I’m failing miserably. 

Here’s what I mean. My dog is judging my wife and me. 

I eat salad and I get the look. It’s a deep probing look that says “Yo, birdbrain, you coulda had a hamburger and instead you’re eating a bunch of green stuff that grows from the ground. I pee all the time on the grass. Are you sure nothing didn’t pee on that lettuce?” 

She goes on: “C’mon on dude, let’s raise your eating game a little here. I’m dying for some decent leftovers.”

Yes, we all joke about our pets living like kings and queens of our homes, but I swear Nittany, our 13-year-old Lhasa Apsa – Bichon Frise, really does live on Easy Street and spends her free time poking fun of us “little people.”

It gets worse. She’s been judging my evening entertainment too. I sit and watch television or work on my laptop, catching up on a little work, and she stares at me. She even gives me a hard time for reading a good book. She’ll paw and paw at our front door letting us know that she needs to go outside and do her business.

Once she’s done, Nittany sits by the stairs glaring at us telepathically trying to convince me that I should go to bed. When I ask if she’s ready for bed, her look says, “Umm, you know that you can read in bed, right? And that horrible show, I can tell you right now how it’s going to end, what poor writing! You can do better Brian.”

And then in the morning, I wake up and start to get out of bed. Before I can take another step, she lets out a sigh, full of frustration and despair. “Why are you bothering me now Brian?”

Yes, I’m a failure in my dog’s eyes. 

Image by Alotrobo via Pexels.

28 thoughts on “My dog judges me

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  1. Cheer up! It could be worse—it could be a cat. I love cats—it’s just that they come from planets far, far away where cunning and wisdom combine to make a creature way beyond our human understanding. Any cat I ever met is way smarter than I am. I’m sticking to dogs—at least I have a prayer!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I think she is puzzled, Brian, as to why you are using your paws to type. You should just surrender to the fact you will always be the Dog Butler in the relationship. As was mentioned, it could be worse, you could be enslaved by a cat. 😂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Ha! Our pets rule us, there’s no doubt about it. Since we don’t know what they’re thinking, we compensate by bending over backward for them, and yet they still judge. Oh well. The love of a dog, or in my case, two cats, makes it all worth it.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This piece did make me laugh, Brian. I think my cat, Peanut, has been taking psychic lessons from Nittany; although I don’t think she judges me in the same way, it’s more that she knows she is the boss in our house! She tells me when to get up by sitting on my chest first thing in the morning. If I’m on my laptop too long (in ‘Her Majesty’s’ opinion, that is) or I’m too engrossed in my book, she insists on climbing up and sitting on my keyboard or my book. When she’s hungry, she sits at my feed with those pleading eyes you describe and doesn’t move until she’s been fed. It’s as if she’s saying, why would you want to stare at a screen or book when you have the most beautiful cat in the world to stare at!? Pets are the boss in our homes, aren’t they 😹!? I think Nittany deserves an extra bone for inspiring her human to write such a funny post.

    Liked by 2 people

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