Under pressure!

When I see someone under pressure, it could be an NFL kicker trying to win a football game with a last-second kick; a business leader giving an important speech that will drive or lower stock prices; or even a congressional or political leader talking about an important piece of legislation, I try to imagine the thoughts racing in their head.

Do they have butterflies? Is their heart jumping or skipping a beat? What are their fears? Are they envisioning success or failure?

I wonder because, well, I’m a worrier. I worry about everything, big and small it doesn’t matter. My worry is both good and bad, it helps me, it forces me to prepare, to be ready for any situation, and pushes me to succeed. It’s pushed me to heights that I would have never expected or imagined. But I also waste a lot of time and energy on things that will never happen. In the words of John Lubbock, “A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.”

Throw the thought of a newborn or growing kids into that mix and you can imagine some of my worries over the years.

It’s hard to change the DNA that makes up who I am, but, over the years, I’ve worked hard to focus on the things that I can control. Check out my story — Worry and me and baby makes three! — on what it was like to become a new parent and what I learned from the experience. Yes, we would make it after all. While you’re pulling up my story, check out the rest of The Heart of The Matter and be sure to subscribe to the site.

I hope you like my story. I think you’ll you appreciate the other writers and blogs posted there as well.

“If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.”
– Dean Smith

Image by Pixabay.

38 thoughts on “Under pressure!”

    1. The farmer I wrote about last week used to say that too. Yes, worry really doesn’t get you anywhere, I speak from experience. I try to be more care-free, but it’s not very natural for me. Ha, ha. Thanks for commenting! Appreciate the words of wisdom!

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  2. Did love this! A fellow worrier!! I worry all of the time. About everything! Talk about dying a million times before your death…! Thanks for posting. Does anything help you? I do deep breathing in meditation but I know today is a big worry day because tomorrow my husband has dental surgery. I am trying to prepare for all contingencies. Sometimes I want to somehow escape all this worry…

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    1. You know I’ve never really consistently tried mediation. That’s a goal of mine to try this year. What actually helps me is to work through the problem in my head, by first questioning whether I’ll really care about the problem ten years from now. If that doesn’t work, I move to the next phase and think about the worse case scenario, best to just see it up front. My final solution is to write about my worry. Often times the silliness of the worry makes me laugh at myself and remember to just take it step by step and be in the moment. No great solutions, but that’s what works for me. As far as your husband goes, sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. Hope it’s all very minor. From one worrier to another, hang in there. Thanks for commenting Stockade, very much appreciate the feedback and to know that I’m not the only one!!!

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      1. Oh, you are definitely not alone!! I am sure I outclass you. We never had kids… well we had legitimate concerns but you did!! That’s wonderful! Thank you so much for the positive thoughts for my husband❣️ Really appreciate that. Meditation DOES help.🙏🏽

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      3. Yes, I start hyperventilating when really worried and I learned from Thich Nhat Hanh how to breath mindfully. It works. He was Vietnamese and close to Martin Luther King who nominated Hanh for the Nobel Peace prize. Get the Plum Village app on your phone and click on Guided meditations and then click on Thich Nhat Hanh. I do the 20 minute one but there are shorter ones. He guides you to breath properly. Maybe more guidance in the shorter ones. I also do transmitted meditations with Daaji but that is more advanced. He offers 3 classes for free. See Heartfulness.com.
        Hope these help. Do it every day you can.

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  3. I also experience that “worry by extension” when I see someone in a nerve-wracking situation, and it can be so stressful! I really enjoyed your story today, Brian, and the takeaway lessons. Sometimes it would behoove us to step back and look at the big picture when we’re up close and tangled up in the fine details.

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    1. Stepping back is a big thing. When we took a step back, we realized we were worried about silly things. Yes, having a child is a big thing, but we were worried too much instead of being in the moment and enjoying the experience. Funny to look back now. It feels so long ago and just like yesterday all at the same time.

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  4. If that quote is anything to go by, Brian, I’ve died a thousand times 😂. Perhaps, as you say, this is something in our DNA, or is it a western cultural issue where most focus is on success and material things? Writing is a great outlet for dealing with worry. Problems seem to lessen when you see them in writing. Another excellent and thought provoking post, Brian.

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    1. An awesome song. I had a link to the Queen/Bowie video, but it wasn’t playing so I took it off. I’ve been using song titles lately as headlines and subheads. I’m so horrible at headlines, it’s been a fallback for me. And yes, that’s some great advice. I remind myself of that frequently too. It at least helps keep me in the here and now. Thanks for commenting Rebecca!

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  9. This reminds me of the Dale Carnegie quote, “Research shows that 40% of the things we worry about never happen. 30% of the things we worry about have already happened and actually only 8% of what we worry about actually happens.” Hey, wait a minute, Dale—where’s the other 22% that’s unaccounted for? Should Dale be worried about the credibility of his quotes? Or maybe Google is the culprit foisting inaccurate information upon us. Hmm…

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    1. Yes, I know most of my worries are foolish. I know with the kids, my wife and I worried about silly stuff. We knew what to do, we just needed to trust our guy. As far as the quote, maybe dale is going with his gut too. Or Google is the one with the wrong info! Ha ha

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  10. OK, Mr. Worry Wart! 😲 Listen, I simply love all of this. And yes, when many athletes, actors, and entertainers are asked if they have butterflies in their stomachs before a performance, the majority of them say that they are indeed nervous. They worry if they aren’t nervous! 🤣 Listen my dear Brian, you are not alone when it comes to worriation. We all are guilty of it. We just learn to divert our energy from it as much as we possibly can. But, I simply love the four things that you said about being new parents and your baby’s expectations. How priceless my friend. 😍👏🏼🥰💖🤗

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    1. Yes, I focused a lot on the piece on worry. A lot of the comments have too. But you nailed it Kym. The real reason I wrote the piece was to try to explain how we learned that laughter, joy, happiness trump worry every day of the week. Our daughter had some basic needs (feeding, sleeping, etc.) and we wouldn’t be experts right out of the gate, but if we took care of those basic things and hung together, we’d figure it all out. And fortunately, we did. Or at least it seems that way. My kids haven’t complained about needing a burp in a long time. Ha, ha. Thanks for the comment Kym. Appreciate the support. And yes, I need to work on my worrying! Thanks.

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      1. Oh Brian you are so very welcome. My friend, I think you are well on your way to more worry-free days ahead! Oh, the peace is such a tremendous and generous reward. I am learning that every single day! 🥰💖🤩🌟 I love your spirit and attitude. 😊🙏🏼😘 Hugs and smooches!

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  11. Love the Dean Smith quote, Brian. I could probably stand to have that tattooed somewhere visible. Great post – both of them!

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  12. On Sundays, just before the final blessing, our pastor would always say “And keep us from useless worry”. That always made me think: there are some problems or issues we can worry about and handle but the majority of worries are useless –things we have no control over. While it’s easy to say “don’t worry, it’ll be fine”, it’s not easy to do but in the end we often find that is indeed true. Thanks for sharing your post; it’s good to know you’re not alone in the worry department! https://youtu.be/-kJFxaBfh_w

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    1. I’m wondering if something is going on with WordPress. I’ve been having some of the same issues with blogs that I follow. I know it’s been glitchy too moving back and forth from my cell to my laptop. I’ll like a story on my laptop, go to my cell in the reader and notice that it’s not liked??? In any event, no problems! I’ll keep my eyes out. I just hope my blogs mean something to the reader. I appreciate the feedback and readership!!!!!!!

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  14. I like the last quote. I know that worrying too much is detrimental to your mental and physical health, but I also find that if I allow myself to worry about something that’s bothering me I often find my solution buried in my worry. Kind of a yin yang thing.

    [Also having difficulties with WP, following blogs, commenting and liking on them. However I’m not worried.]

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